Outside

Flowers were meant to bloom outside

Dear Penpal,
Incase you ever wonder why?…

I’m gay because I fell in love with a man first,
I gave my heart to a man first…
He’s yet to return it,
He stole what I could give…
A man to a woman,
A husband to a wife,
But not to a father to a child…
( I tend to believe that fathers absolutely must give their everything!) – provision will always be high tea…
And I wouldn’t turn down a seat on that table,
I’d turn like the smoothest sea,
At the grace and mercy of my child’s whim,
I would put food on that table – 100%.

But now my lover doesn’t come in the form of soil,

He comes as a man bearing seed…

My lover looks like him,
And I know I should look outside – see different faces, see all that’s out there
But I’m locked-in on him…
I don’t see anyone else but him – he has a hold on my eyes
I come from a past of a child who loved their  father,
He marked me his even before my mom kissed my lips,
He held me first,
He took me before he gave me to the rest of the world …
And no… I’m sorry but no…I can’t turn down the thought of loving a man down,
I like being swept off my feet,
I fancy thoughts of being engulfed in big wide muscular arms,
I want to see the world – while I’m carried on a man’s back.

Sometimes I sit and think …
It’s my pretty feet,
It’s the fingernails I like looking at,
The characterised voice I have…
The artist I came to earth as,
Maybe somewhere along those lines – I discovered something,
I looked at myself differently and called me charming,
Made up my mind before I saw everything else,
I claimed myself before a woman knew my name,
I knew I was someone – I could flatter because of so…
I was clean
And it was feminine – I was a feminine bitch with no cunt
I’m beautiful magic ✨

Psttt! I’m also gay because I always have clean underwear on💅🏾

Yours truly,
Penpal 💙