Love is madness

Do I owe you closure?...

Owe you a reason as to why I'm going to stay away from you?

Tell you I'm letting go as I'm doing it?

Because in my mind I shouldn't...

I shouldn't cry over a pain that I've caused myself

I can't let go of something I never really had in the first place

I can't say words admitting that my feelings got hurt...

That you hurt me

Because I've said enough words

I've said a lot of words

But they're just words

They were just words you didn't understand

Because I've really said it all

And there's nothing more to say

I'm closing the door because you're the one who left first

You're the one who walked out on me

I look like the past you run away from I guess...

The past you leave behind

Put you on pedestals and had you step on me

All this while I'm kissing your feet

Like how could you?

Don't you know?

Or is it that you're just inconsiderate and really don't care about my feelings?

But then again...

Do you even know how I'm feeling?

I'm upset

I feel betrayed - like my emotions have been played

Just the thought of someone else having access to you and touching on your skin deeply enrages me

That you shared another bed with someone ...

Someone who isn't me

And yes - I know

I know I know I know

That it's your body, that you can do and be with who you like

That it's in your right to be sexually liberate

To chase after your sexual fantasies

And to satisfy your sexual desires

But no...

It just doesn't sit well with me

It's not good for the wellbeing of my soul

It's a poison to all the love I have for you in my heart

And in as much as I'm scared of losing you

Scared of having lost all this time and energy building a life with you

I'm absolutely terrified - of losing myself while at it

Give you all of me and have nothing left for myself

But you see the thing is I like it like that

I want it like that

A reckless love

I don't want to love you wisely - practise caution on the limits of my heart

Because I want all of you

And if I end up losing myself in you

It's a price I'm more than willing to pay