My head is a very dark place

Truth is, I sleep with the lights on because I'm scared of the dark

I'm scared of being alone

Scared of being by myself...

Scared that I'll get overwhelmed by the darkness

And I can never fight it all off

Never evade the tears that the nights have to offer

Never silence the voices in my head - keep myself sane

Never keep my head above this massive sea of sadness

The waves of doubt are big, strong and relentless - I'm not sure I'm gonna make it 

I always find myself sinking

Drowning but can't ask for help

But then again,

There's no one to help...

Truth is, there's a monster who sleeps with me in my bed

He whispers to me every night as I'm sleeping

Tells me how he's never gonna go away

That I'm his and he'll always be mine

And he wraps his arms around me 

The tighter I curl - the colder I get 

But he's not that bad...

He convinced me a long time ago that I'm worse than him

He makes sure I remember -  all the times I fucked up

All the times I failed

All the times I actually was stupid 

Why am I stupid?

And I know I know I know ...

Trust me - I know

That's it's all in my head 

That it isn't true

That none of this is real

But the truth is...

I can't get it out of my head

Can't get myself to believe that any of this is false

None of this ever feels fake