The trilogy : Act III

I found myself once more asking...

"What's wrong with me?"

Because it has been so heavily imposed on me that I'm not ...

OKAY

That I'm not right...

Not of sound mind

And apparently not of clean spirit

I found myself in this predicament of facing condemnation after condemnation

Looking at hate and disgust right in the eye

But it was different this time round...

I was weak of fear

Short of tears

Tired of self-loathing, self-pitying and self-sabotaging my very self

So I asked...

Is this sin?

Is it sinful that he makes me feel good?

That he makes me feel beautiful, 

Makes me feel alive, 

That he makes me understand what love is...

Is it wrong?

Wrong that I fell in love with a man?

Truth is, given the opportunity, I'd fall for him in every lifetime...

Mark my soul and heart and call me his

Is it crazy?

Am I delusional for admitting to all this?

Am I out of my mind for wanting what each of us wants?...

Love?!!!

Well I am crazy,

As a matter of fact I'm mad over heels - in love with a man

Is it bad?

Bad that I found something good in this world ?

That someone came into my life and made my heart full

That I no longer have to do this alone...

Isn't it supposed to look and feel like this?

Like his beautiful words of affirmation,

How he has me smiling ear to ear through the phone every time we're on a call,

The way his voice calms me and silences my fears...

My exhaustion - in always wondering, always asking, if the world will let us be...

Is it too much to ask for when all I'm asking for is the chance to love him?