The trilogy: Act I

I can't tell you how many times a day I feel like a fraud

An impersonator

Just because I don't fit into this personna 

This role that they expect 

No - want me to play

The script titled 

"Life of a heterosexual man"

That comes with a guidebook ...

1. Watch football with the guys over a couple of beers on the weekends

2. Make sure I lay pipe regularly so I can hold down a conversation with the boys

And finally, to sum this all up...

3. Master the art of being a dick!

It's always in the "mwanaume!!!" comments 

I can always feel the backlash behind it ...

Makes me feel really judged -

She caught me resting my hands on my waist and yelled at me 

Saying " men don't hold their waists" 

And I just wondered...

Isn't it mine tho?????

I found myself asking...what's manhood?

Is it the possession of a big dick?

Is it having a high sex count and having fucked every girl out there?

Or is it being a diehard Man U fan?

Cause I'm neither of all those

I found myself lacking conversation in a room full of men

This one's telling me about how much he makes his girl squirt

And that's real cute but bro - TMfuckinI!!!

This other one's giving me advice on how to get laid

Again... cute but I'm really good thank you

While this other one was just being plain annoying

Too vain for me to even muster up the energy to give a false sense of attention